wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
