mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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