with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
So I just went to clothing optional bar
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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