I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
