I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Randomize
