It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She bit a glass in half.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
