Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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