i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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