If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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