Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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