My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
