As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
