Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
