dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
