Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
