i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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