Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
