I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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