She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
