My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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