thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
