I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
