I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
