For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
