you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
