sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
time to smoke my breakfast
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
sex in a hospital.. check
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
