Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
