We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I AM VODKA MAN
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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