Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
