i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
