The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
