dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
