Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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