I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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