how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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