I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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