How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
the liver wants what the liver wants
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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