I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
