Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
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