Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
