you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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