I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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