You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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