my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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