Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
