it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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