The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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