my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
