I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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