we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
